6'0 tall, former athlete, mother of 3, struggling to keep up on the RUN of daily life.

Friday, February 3, 2012



This is a topic that has been floating around my Tall head for a while.. so I thought I would pulse the masses (hehe) to see what you all think.

I have never had a shortage of Self Confidence. I believe in myself, work hard and find ways to reach my goals. Does that mean that I don't doubt myself?? Heck no, I am in a contact state of doubt. But I don't let fear drive me. I believe that if I put my mind to something I WILL find a way to achieve it and I hold my head high.

I also feel like I am Self Aware. I know when I have done or said something stupid, the impact I have made and I take action to fix it. I play to my strengths and flex the big muscles. Though I have many strengths I am acutely aware of my weaknesses and do my best to learn from mistakes.

This leads to the Self Criticism. In my own mind I am not good enough. Nothing I do will ever be good enough for ME. This has served me well in school, I earned mostly A's. In sports, I played Division 1 College Basketball. And in life, I have a successful career. BUT....it is so darn tiring.. When I perform at the TOP of my "game," in my head I still wonder if I could have done more, gone faster, dotted more i's and crossed more t's.. When I make mistakes it eats me up inside and I OBSESS about it...

Stuck in the SELF TRIFECTA

Confident enough to take action.

Aware enough to know when I have done well/poorly.

Regardless of the outcome, I am my own worst Critic..

While I cant change who I am I would like to be able to quiet the Critic inside and not be so hard of myself. But maybe I need the Self Criticism to continue to grow and not accept less than what I am capable of.

  • What are your thoughts about Self Criticism? How do you quiet the voices in your head?

  • Tell me about your SELF Trifecta


Unknown said...

I am my own worst enemy......its a constant fight to keep those voices saying positive things.

Kurt @ Becoming An Ironman said...

Racing with Babes posted something today that fits perfectly with this post!

How do I quiet the voices in my head? When I get down on myself, the first step is making myself feel better. I take a mental step back and think of the list of things I've accomplished that I'm proud of. The second step is thinking about each of those journeys; did I get it right the first time or were there bumps along the way? Of course there were bumps! So why get critical of yourself now when all you've done is hit a bump? Take a deep breathe, analyze the situation, and do it better.

I fully admit I lack in confidence, but I make up for it with an acute self-awareness.

Run with Jess said...

I'm very much like you Mel. I constantly feel like my own worst enemy.

TurboTurtle said...

This topic is so dear to my heart, as I struggle to help my three daughters grow up as confident, healthy individuals. I had NO self-confidence growing up (short, fat, ugly hair, thick glasses, and the athletic ability of a pregnant hippopotamus). And as a slow runner, I still have to take a deep breath whenever I see my running pace posted for all the world to see.

For me, confidence lies in not comparing myself to everyone out there--or anyone out there--but rather going through life being the best ME that I can be, and being AWARE of who that is. Still short, not fat (not thin, but not fat!), manageable hair, 20/15 eyes (yay Lasik!), still slow but getting STRONGER. Every mile I run is a nail in the coffin of that nasty voice in my head telling me I CAN'T run!

Michelle @ www.movinitwithmichelle.com said...

Confidence has always been my down fall...working on that one daily!!

Unknown said...

Oh man! This strikes a chord! I am my biggest critic! I've come to realize that not everyone...hardly anyone is watching/caring about my every move! That helps. But...when it comes to my kids, I rethink every move I make and over analyze Everything! It drives me crazy...and my husband too!
You say it well!

Kathy said...

such a difficult thing to quiet the inner critic! I am constantly over-analyzing to see if I could have done something more - and not giving myself credit for what I actually achieved...

Nice post!

Kris said...

I feel I am probably more critical towards myself than anyone else. I try not to be but sometimes it just seems like I get stuck in a rut of concentrating on my faults. I think it's good to be aware of our faults but to not dwell on them and allow them to get us down or feel unworthy. I believe that our thoughts thrust us toward greatness or failure and we must try to focus on the good instead of the bad. Ultimately we can have a battlefield in our mind but our choices will give us victory or defeat. However, I believe that if you fall you can always get back up and try again. It is the Strength inside us that keeps us going :)

track coach and adorable wife said...

I lack the self-confidence you seem to have and my head seems to be filled with the kind of critics that heckle you! It is something I have had a problem with from a very young age. One of my big goals, is to break out and be free from myself. That is part of why I wanted to start the crafting business... go out on a limb, sink or swim, give it the old college try! I am trying to convince myself, that fail or no fail, I have succeeded for trying!

Audrey said...

I too, made decent gradess. I excelled in sprots. Played college basketball. I have a successful career in Bank Marketing that is fun. But, my hardest task ever is balancing work and life...as a Mom. I have 2young boys and there is nothing that can make me feel like a failure more than working late several days in a row. I feel guilty for them being at daycare all day. I feel guilty for working at home in the evenings. It's a daily battle, but doing my best every single day is my goal and that's all I can do!

chattynatty said...

One of my favorite posts of your's yet. I too am aware,confident and a critic. I think all of these can actually be good traits as long as you reign them into a doable, healthy pattern in life. Without confidence many of us would never "toe the start line", without awareness many of us would push too hard and experience too many injuries, and without self criticism we wouldn't strive to go farther and faster.

XLMIC said...

This reminded me of a funny I saw on Pinterest...

"Shut up, voices... or I'll jab you again with a q-tip!"

You're pretty awesome, Mel :)

Lala Mama said...

Your self trifecta is what I strive for.

The first two qualities in any case.

I have been driven by the self-criticism all my life to the point of crippling my life, b/c I used to be a perfectionist.

I realized one day (in university) that being a perfectionist was a very unhappy state of being. So I stopped.

Nowadays, I use my self-criticism beforehand to prepare. Then I tell it to shut up.

I also rely heavily on perspective...on me having some. On others to give me a reality that it was really that bad or actually it was good, and my self criticism should just...well, shut up.

So I talk to my hubby, and I talk to a few close friends who understand. I do not tell them about the voices in my head.

Kerrie said...

Aw, Mel. I am the same way. I've really been working on this over the last year or so. I wanted to do everything and be everything I could possibly be (wait, is that the Army slogan?). But it's impossible. Sometimes we gotta let some things go. This has been more about writing for me; maybe it's more about running for you? We don't have to do it all RIGHT NOW. We can take our time a little. Sometimes we just have to be in the moment and appreciate what is happening right this very second and know that it is enough. We are enough. Hugs.