6'0 Tall wife to Muscle Man, mother of 3, full time career woman, with an addiction to running wherever her size 10's will take her.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Weight Loss Roller Coaster

Welcome new Bloggy Pack members!! I apologize for the extreme lack of Running content, with weird injuries, a work trip and being sick I have not laced up my Brooks that often. I plan to get back on track I have a 5K in less than a month and a new GOAL with my friend Kim HERE. Lately I have been thinking a lot about weight.. Not when it comes to others as much as my own roller coaster with the scale.

At 6'0 tall I can carry 215 pounds easily and I did for most of my adult life, I tipped the scales above 265 at the peak of my pregnancy with LS#1. I know what I need to do to shed the EXTRA weight and I was laser focused after Little Stud #2 was born. I was over feeling tired, of seeing the extra flap of skin flop over my jeans...muffin top is not sexy!!
I wrote down everything I ate, I worked out all the time and I had a GOAL, I wanted to get to 184 pounds.... Thankfully I was training for my first Half and Full Marathon and the pounds started to drop quickly... I hit a slow patch around 195, seemed like my body loved that weight and was determined to stay there. I was about to give up then took a look at my diet and cut out a few needless calories and a few months later I had reached my Personal Goal Weight...
Me in 2009 at 184... Why is 184 my PGW (Personal Goal Weight)? Because according to the (rather stupid) BMI scales I am at the very top of the "normal" range at 184 pounds. I don't believe in BMI scales since I am a muscular, but I would like to be in a healthy range and for me 184 is the number... also happens that is the weight I feel strong, confident and FIT!! SIDEBAR= If I weighed 136 I would be far from "normal" try anorexic...

I loved reaching my PGW and was proud that I was able to stay there for over a year. I felt like a machine, muscle pumping and lower body fat than I had ever had in my life. I could fit into some size 10 clothes, a smaller size than I wore in High School!! And I loved the positive attention from family, friends and co-workers. It took a lot of focus and dedication to stay there. I didn't eat fast food and would only "cheat" on rare occasions. Eventually for various reasons I lost my way....

So where am I now??

195-199 depending on the day... FIRMLY OVERWEIGHT according to BMI scales.

I know what I need to do.

I know that I could get there again.

I know that my knees would feel better.

I know that my clothes would fit great.

BUT....

Am I ready to get back on the diet train?

Right now I am living my life. Eating Chocolate, drinking an adult beverage and not stressing about calories.

Do I like how I feel with the extra 10-15??

NO!!!

But do I love enjoying my food without counting calories?

YES!!

Weight Loss
Weight Gain
Up
Down
Up
Down
Up
Down

I wish I was that person who can eat whatever, whenever and not worry... but I am not that person. I STRUGGLE with weight. I am not 215 pounds, thankfully I am able to stay in Onederland, but I am heavier than my PGW.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I am sure that there are many people like me who are 10-15 pounds heavier than they want to be. We don't get to be on TV or have articles written about us. We are the Norm. Some days I think I am OK with it. Other days I am pissed that I let the weight creep back on. The emotions are

Up
Down
Up
Down
Up
Down

December starts tomorrow. A new month which ends with a new year. Could be my year to return to my PGW or to finally accept that my body likes to be 195. Time will tell. The ups and downs go on and I know I am not on this Roller Coaster alone...

  • Don't forget to enter my Gone for a Run MedalART Giveaway HERE

  • Are you at your Personal Goal Weight? How did you get there and how do you stay there?

  • What are your thoughts about the Roller Coaster of weight loss?

  • Do you have plans to shed the pounds in 2012?

41 comments:

Medieval Needle said...

I really don't think those BMI charts take into account runners, weight lifters, and other people who work out a lot. I don't think they take into account the lean muscle as opposed to fat. The only way to get a good BMI is to see your doctor or nutritionist.

fancy nancy said...

You are most certainly not the only one like this! I got within 2lbs of my goal weight, which was still 10lbs higher than I was in high school! It was where I was when I got married and I felt great then. This year I came SO CLOSE to my weight goal and then life (pregnancy and miscarriage) happened and I have let myself slip to now I am 12lbs away. I am disappointed with myself but I know that I am staying healthy. I plan to focus on good eating and exercise in 2013. I want to try not to be over analytical with my diet but just focus on the right fuel. You are beautiful Mel!

ashley rebekah said...

love this... thank you so much for sharing and reminding me (us) that we're not alone. i've lost 15 lbs to date, 10 more to go. these last 10 seem the hardest and most stubborn, but also totally attainable. we can do this, and we will do this. even, yet, despite holiday cookies!!! best of luck, and lace those brooks' back up, girl.

Wym said...

You are a big motivation for me. we are so close in figure stats it is awesome. So often, it is a little bitty thing complaining about the extra weight. I never quite know what the right size is for me because I am shaped so much larger than most girls!
Yay for Tall Moms and the ability to be 215 and not look awful. but i'm there with you. I am steady at 200 lbs and want the 180 mark! I have always been between 195-215 as an adult (except pregnancy). im ready to see what my body can do. Marathon training is over and i'm incorporating more weights and cross training. NOW its time for the food part. Boo. I like nutella.
Tomorrow is December 1, let's get it done.

Jess @ Blonde Ponytail said...

Such an honest post! I feel like body fat % is a better measurement than weight. Muscle is more dense than fat, so your weight may be the same but your inches smaller.

You know I think your gorgeous, but I know YOU have to feel that way too. I wouldn't go diet crazy during the holidays...too many temptations and you don't want to feel guilty nibbling on a cookie! :)

Teamarcia said...

Blah. I so hear you on this. I've got 6 lbs to go for PGW...it's not pie in the sky 'racing weight' or anything like that (hell I don't think I've been at racing weight since I was 16) but 6 lbs less is where I'm very happy and running my best. Forget 2013, I'm hoping to still get there this year...ok that may be a tad aggressive but one can dream right?

Sweet and Savory by Sarah said...

I have a small frame so for me, I don't weigh all that much. I'm 5.9 and 126ish pounds each morning. Before working out and running I was less weight...but also less muscle. I am A-okay with my weight if I'm under 130. I know the numbers sound small but I have saddle bags, and love handles like the rest of them...

Laura said...

I was at my thinnest in years earlier this year during marathon training. Then I promtly gained 20 pounds. I hate how it feels on my legs when I run. The weird thing though is that I don't feel that much bigger. I probably gained some muscle, but it couldn't have been 20 pounds of muscle. I'm afraid to get my body fat checked because of potential triggers. I hate feeling stuck though. Just need to clean up the eating and continue the exercise that I'm doing. My PGW is 150 (I'm 5'8) but I doubt I'll ever get there.

Run with Jess said...

Constant Battle here... Having children changed my body so much and I struggle all the time with food decisions. I'm short, so a 10lb flux shows every time in my waist line.

robinbb said...

That number on the scale drives me crazy! I am one pound above my "goal weight". (The highest weight at the top of my weight range.) I am far from satisfied at this weight. I would love to be 10 pounds lighter but I can't get my weight to budge. I am trying and as much as I run the more the scale centers on that weight. I am frustrated and wish I had some sort of wise words, but I don't, but am willing to accept any wise words as even 5 pounds lighter would make me happy.

Cat B. said...

such a great post and exactly what I needed to hear. This time of year is always time for either a hard look at yourself or to turn a blind eye. Good for you for being honest with yourself. Glad to know I'm not the only one like this!

Amanda - TooTallFritz said...

I too am tall(right at 6 ft) and really struggle with the scales. My PGW is lower than you but I don't have any womanly curves to add lbs either. Since I am basically a bean pole, all the extra weight really shows when I am not "on"....I'll never have a flat tummy, even if all is well and I'm at PGW. So I totally feel your pain. It is a daily battle for me and I have to FOCUS on it or it will get away from me. Good luck, no matter what your weight, just try to get your emotions on board with where you are so it's not so hard mentally on you.

As a side note, I LOVE that green shirt. Each time I see you wearing it in a photo, I'm super envious. LOVE that color! And Secondly, I hope that we can eventually get together for a run so for once I'm not the only one towering over the other runners. :o)

Hugs!

Marlene said...

Girl I could have written most of that myself!

136?!? You would be a carrot stick! Ewww. Case in point, don't trust the BMI numbers.

If you are choosing a PGW based on knowing you feel GOOD at that weight, then great!

I have been up and down so much... I am struggling with 5-10 lbs that I don't need right now but at the same time I am 'okay' with where I am, so I think that's why I am going so easy on myself.

Why does it go on so easily and come off so slooowly?!

Sybil said...

I love to hear about other tall girls' stories. Obviously we hold/ carry weight differently than smaller women. I can look at tall women who are all such a range of weights and they all look completely amazing to me. It must depend on muscle, curves, etc.

My PGW keeps dropping because I always think "oh, I will finally have a relatively un-poochy tummy when I reach X weight" and then I get there and guess what?! Tummy still there! Grrr. So I am fine staying at 6' and 160lbs if I can do something about the pooch. I started getting in to fitness at about 176 and I look/feel so much better now. I was NOT a strong, toned 176. I was jiggly, floppy and out of shape. Not cute.

Shellyrm ~ just a country runner said...

Did I lapse into a coma? 2013? Maybe I didn't read that right.

I do think those "scale" are not always accurate given each person's body type. But they are a great guideline. As is the way you FEEL.

I feel heavy currently and I am slowly working my way to a more comfortable weight. Small changes. Being more aware. Because I don't want to give up and then just lapse back.

Good Luck doing the same.

Janice {Run Far} said...

I love this, and I love your honesty. Thank you for sharing.

I am having a heck of a time getting the 10-15 off that has weighed me down for years. Like you... I know what I need to do to lose but I enjoy my food, and I LOVE not tracking each calorie. I plan on maintaining through Dec and then hitting it hard Jan 1.

Beth S. said...

I admire and respect how you bared yourself in this post. I am like you in the frame and weight, and it's usually so hard for me to find people who can relate. I'm 5'9", and my PGW is 160. That's considered healthy for me, plus it's still in the decent range on BMI. I've never trusted BMI because I'm very curvy and I also carry a lot of muscle (born and raise softball girl), but I've found that 160 is a great weight for me regardless. I look good, feel good, and I fall within all the healthy standards. I'm about halfway to my goal weight, but I'm getting there fast! :-)

Good luck with the weight loss journey! I'm right there with you!

runningforthree said...

No kidding, I was just talking about this. Yes there is an obesity crisis and I certainly understand why they get the spot light on TV, but there are so many people that are just trying to loose that 10-15 pounds. I'm currently weighing in at 160. According to my BMI I am right on the line for being overweight. I decided that loosing 20 pounds would be great but I don't want to be scale obsessed. My current goal is to eventually fit into a size 6 jeans (I'm in 8/10s). Once I get there I'll reevaluate and go from there.
Sorry for the book.

Randi S said...

when I first started to lose weight in 2010, I wanted to be 130# (I'm 5'3"). My body has pretty much stopped at 145. It's also at the top of my BMI (my Wii Fit says I should weigh 129), but I don't diet. I don't stress about what I eat (except we're trying to go gluten and casein free but that's not for my health). I'm ok with the extra 15 and I like 145 (most of the time...I wish my stomach didn't pooch out as much but I have extra skin too so that sucks).

Heather Forcey said...

You are not alone. My husband and I have been members of Weight Watchers for one full year now. We started last December. I got to my lowest weight in May. (It wasn't my goal, but it was the lowest of this time frame.) During the summer, I lost motivation. I hate how I feel, but I like being lazy and eating without having to think. Unfortunately, the two go hand in hand. I'm trying. Always trying. In fact, tonight is weigh in day. I'm going. I don't want to, but I'll go get weighed. I might not look at the number until I am safely in my car! I ran three miles last night and felt GREAT! That feeling alone should be enough to keep me moving. Endorphin high.

Kate said...

Oh, my gosh...I JUST posted on this last night. Well, yours is better said, but yeah. In summer of 2010 I was at the thinnest I'd been since my wedding and feeling good about myself. Since then, it's slowly crept back up and now, while I'm fitter than I was for a long time, I'm considerably heavier than I was.

I've wavered between unhappy about it and unwilling to do much of anything about it, but my view in the dressing room mirror yesterday was the straw that moved me to be ready to commit to being more conscientious about what I put into my mouth.

Ironmom (Julie) said...

Just an idea: Read about Paleo and primal eating and try that! You don't have to count calories; you just stick mostly to meats, healthy fats, and vegetables, and you will be amazed at what happens (and not just with weight loss). I'm not super strict with it, maybe 80-90% Paleo, and the weight just keeps falling off, PLUS I am getting faster without even trying.

MCM Mama said...

I have a goal weight that I love to be at, but it takes so much discipline to stay there. Five pounds up (I'm only 5'3") is a spot where my body likes to be. Right now, I'm 6 pounds up from that and would just love to get back down to that. I'm having to come to terms with being in my 40s and being unwilling to focus on eating perfectly and working out constantly to get to that lower "goal".

Good luck figuring out the balance!

~K~ said...

I think you look great whatever your weight is now. I so wish i was taller! ha!
I agree with you that our bodies have that weight they wanna stay at. And i'm noticing the older i get, the higher that weight gets. Ah, well. I'm not one to deny myself some chocolate! ;-) runner_girl5k at yahoo dot com

Jacky said...

This is such a BRAVE post! I am not at my PGW but I do plant to shed pounds in 2012. I am about 40lbs overweight, so the charts say obese... do I like it? No. Do I like eating my choc and ice cream? Yes! But I must cut it down. My body and everyone around me will appreciate it!
I think you look wonderful. I do think, as well, that like you at 195, there's a slightly higher weight than my PGW that my body's more comfy with... we'll see... I do need to make that first step and get back out there!
You're doing great!

Marissa said...

You are a machine...bmi-blah! I am 5'10", struggled with weight most of my life as well and I am happy with where I am now. Yes, I could probably lose another 10lbs, but I'm balanced, healthy and I've never felt better now that running is such a huge part of my life. I love that I'm not the only "tall Mom" out there that doesn't weigh and will NEVER weigh 130lbs! I'd have to cut off both arms and legs!

You are an amazing athlete that inspires me EVERY, SINGLE day! Be proud and woohoo for 180+lb women that are FIT and HEALTHY!!! I'm right there too!

The Jesse said...

What a GREAT post, thank you for sharing your JOURNEY. I struggle with my weight too and I have all my life. I have worked really hard this year and I've dropped ~15lbs but I've had a hard time staying on track lately and I'm seeing the scale start to creep back up. Its DEF a roller coaster and I don't enjoy those. I am trying to stay focused and remember the reason why I started this journey but some days are just harder than others. I'm about 15lbs away from my Personal Goal Weight and I PLAN to continue to work towards it for the remainder of 2011 and into 2012.

Again, thank you for opening up and sharing your journey. Its encouraging to read about others who have the same struggles. YOU are an INSPIRATION to me :)

talso66 said...

I am working on losing weight and I met with a dietitian/nutritionist who makes a custom plan according to your weight loss goal and your training days. She does a lot of sports nutrition that teaches you how to fuel your run/performance. I like my long run because it means more calories that day, but I have learned that it is very easy to overeat your run! Check out her site. She does plans via email. http://www.runners-fuel.com/ She is part of our training group as well.

ajh said...

I just read Super Kate's post about this but she is ready now. I am not. And truthfully I wouldn't feel too badly about my weight but none of my pants fit and I spent too much money on my clothes. So yes I need to lose 10 - 15 pounds. I don't know how much because I haven't gotten on scales in forever.

Caroline said...

numbers are all relative what you said here though

"If I weighed 136 I would be far from "normal" try anorexic..."

I dont know...I am 5'11" and 138
I am normal, I think and I am not anorexic that is for sure.

I think it is more about how we feel.

Beth said...

Thanks for this post, I totally know how you feel. My body tends towards chubby, I have to work REALLY HARD to not gain weight it's not easy. At 5'8" I am not fat But I am not thin either. I would like to be 10-15 lbs lighter so training would be easier on my body but it's a struggle. Hang in there, I always try to remember that I am strong and healthy and that is what matters most.

Katie @ Will Race for Carbs said...

Oh man it was like you were reading my mind. I struggle so much and have struggled a large portion of my life. I totally gained way too much weight while pregnant and now it is 2 and 1/2 years later and while I have lost 70+ pounds I am just stuck with 15 to go. And you just get so tired of constantly trying to lose the weight! Thanks for writing this and it is good to know I'm not the only one who runs but still struggles with weight!

P.J. said...

I hate those BMI charts!! Trying to lose weight is a constant battle. Even when you feel great because you can run, run, run - that scale can totally break you!

Lisa said...

I know exactly how you feel. I just really started documenting what I'm eating yesterday and I'm going to stick with it. I have a good 10lbs or so to lose. With an injury that's kept me from the gym for over a month and other factors, I'm totally over this! I definitely agree that it's a great idea to tell people about your goals, like running a marathon or losing weight, to help stay accountable! Good luck! WE can do this!

Jessica said...

Bleh! The weight game is such a pain! I set a goal the beginning of October to lose 9lbs to get to my goal weight. I am shorter and smaller framed so 9lbs was a lot for me. I got within 1-2lbs doing the Primal Diet, then Thanksgiving came and I fell off my diet roller coaster....and crashed and burned! I haven't gained much back YET but am struggling to get back into it! Right there with ya! FRUSTRATING! It's awesome to feel so much better like I did when I was going strong, but I was seriously enjoying the Doritos and Smores I had while camping last night!

Amy said...

I have a post coming on a similar theme. I have a weight that my body is comfortable with and another weight that my mind is comfortable with. I'm currently at the weight my body likes to settle in, and it's driving my mind crazy!

Lesley @ racingitoff.com said...

Weight control has never been easy for me, not even in high school. I'm also a self-sabotager. I notice 2 lbs lost and then I consume everything with sugar in the house. Vicious cycle, and counting calories was the only way I successfully pulled off 18 nagging lbs this year.

The Boohers said...

Thanks for a wonderfully honest post! Totally agree that BMI is junk for muscular people. So my arms and legs look a little mannish, but that's just the way things panned out for me with DNA. It helps in sports, but makes the BMI gods unhappy. Running has helped me feel super healthy, so I haven't consulted a chart in ages.

Corrina Beana said...

I so get this. My body has what I call a "happy weight" too and I have to work SO hard to get those last 10lbs off...and I haven't been successful after my 3rd pregnancy...which was 3 yrs ago. I'm not "fat" --but I also am one who is at the top of the BMI chart for my height and I don't want to be at the lower end, but I do want these "vanity pounds" off.

Right now, especially through the holidays, I'm focusing on intuitive eating and using self control. The one thing that helped me lose those last pounds after my 2nd pregnancy was following the You On A Diet book---it just takes a lot of planning and prep.

Carla said...

First off, I have met you and you look GREAT!

Second, something weird with numbers can happen as we age. I weigh about 15 pounds more than I did in my 20s, but I am the same size that I was then. If I weighed then what I weigh now, I would have been chubby.

So, focus less on the numbers and more on how you feel, how your clothes fit, etc. And let me reiterate that you look awesome!

KK @ Running Through Life said...

I hear you! Thank you for this post. I am 13 pounds higher than my PWG and I am not a happy camper. I too am struggling with getting back on the diet train. Weight loss is hard work! Good luck to you!