6'0 tall, former athlete, mother of 3, struggling to keep up on the RUN of daily life.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I Dont Know How

I am the Queen of Self Assessment, well for the most part. I know what I am good at and realize that some things will never be a fit for me.

  • I cant dance and am tone deaf.
  • My footwork in every sport I have ever played has been a bit off, but I have always found a way to make my own version work for me.
  • I am not the fastest, strongest, or smartest athlete.

I believe that if I put my mind to something I will eventually figure it out and probably be pretty good at it.

I am HARD on myself when I do not perform to my personal expectations. I beat myself up for little things that I could have and should have done better. Playing Basketball my parents would not need to tell me what I did wrong in a game because I had already figured it out and was internally beating myself up about it.

As an athlete I have had more success than failure. That is a fact, but I also have not stretched myself to try new things. If I try something and fail, or if I think that I won't be good at something, I will shy away. The "I don't know how" and "I can't" creep in and I stick to what I know. And Guess What???? Little Stud #1 is a lot like his Mommy... LS #1 has never shown much of an interest in Riding a Bike. We met my friend Amy on the trail with her son, who is a bit younger than LS#1, he was riding his bike like a champ, no training wheels... GULP!! I felt like a Bad Mom, like I should have pushed LS#1 to practice, I took it personal. Last week LS#1 finally asked to ride a bike, he had outgrown the little bike so we bought him a new one.

Last night we went to the trail and let him try. Not to brag but overall our son is pretty talented, he can kick and throw a ball like a Champ, he is strong and fast and pretty darn athletic.. But when he got on the Bike he clammed up...I could see the wheels in his head turning..

  • "I don't know how"
  • "I don't want to fail"
  • "This feels awkward"
  • "What if I am not good at it"
  • "I can't"
Poor kid inherited his Mom's ability to give up when something does not feel natural.. UGH!! I wanted so badly to tell him it was OK and to keep trying. Just as he was starting to get it he lost balance and fell. I wished that he would believe in himself and not beat himself up. But he didn't, after .25 he stopped...

We continued on our run with his bike tucked in the Jogging stroller, quite the sight to passers by. While on the run I was testing my Vibram Five Fingers Bikila barefoot running shoes HERE.

What Vibram Says:
Unlike any other running shoe on the market. A breakthrough in running shoe design,Bikila® is our first model designed specifically to promote a more natural, healthier and more efficient forefoot strike. While many folks have been running in their Vibram FiveFingers® for years, the Bikila® is our first model created exclusively for a more natural running experience.

I have been meaning to test the Vibrams for ages but feared getting injured before Boston. I put my shoes in the Jogger and set out. WEIRD!! I could feel the path. Muscle Man said it sounded like I was running in cleats, hmmmm, not sure why I sounded so loud. My left foot loved the feeling, but the arch on my right foot started to sting and ache. I am not sure why one foot would have such a different reaction?? I know I need to break these in slowly so at 1.25 miles I put my shoes back on. I felt the weight of the shoes and where the arch supports hit my feet. It was a strange feeling to notice the support in my shoes.

It will take me some time to have a full review, but after the first wear I am pretty impressed. The Vibrams fit my FAT FEET and LONG TOES perfect, feels like a wet suit for the feet. I think it would be great to try these on a short hike. More info soon!! In the mean time go try on a pair, you may like what you feel.

Back to my story... we rounded the corner to the strait away back to the car. Our Littlest was screaming to get out and run. LS#1 put his helmet back on and Daddy helped keep him on the path. He was having a hard time with the pedaling and steering at the same time, but he was learning. We got closer to the car and he started to complain. I said that he could get off but then he said "No I want to ride all the way to the Car."

  • "I don't know how"
  • "I don't want to fail"
  • "This feels awkward"
  • "What if I am not good at it"
  • "I can't"
Those were replaced with someone who set a small goal and was determined to get there. Who knows how long it will take him to learn? But yesterday I was PROUD to see that he did not give up.

  • Is there something you don't know how to do? or don't feel confident in trying? What is stopping you? It may feel strange at first, but maybe, just maybe you will find a way to take the first awkward step toward a new adventure!!


Anonymous said...

Great story and I'm glad he got over the hump to accomplish something new. Some people are just more contemplative about trying new things than others who may jump in head first.

I've heard from multiple sources that the Bikila's have adhesive issues, which is why I use KSOs. Just so you know going into it.

Stacie said...

Great post. I'd love to try the Vibrams to see if it would help with my running form and knee issues.

My issues right now are my knees. I was a slow runner before but I was determined to get faster. I have the endurance so I was hoping the rest would come. Since the knee issues started they have really messed with my mind and confidence. I still love running regardless of how fast I am but I WANT to get a sub 2 half and a sub 5 full marathon so badly. It has been just as much of a mental battle as it has been physical. I'm not giving up. I'm thinking I might need some coaching.

Samantha said...

Aww! Good for LS#1!

I have been running at the same pace for 2 years. I want to get faster and do speed/track work, but first I need to get over that "I don't know how" hump. Maybe this week :)

Jess @ Blonde Ponytail said...

Aw, yourstorywith Lil Stud #1 is adorable...you will be able to help him throughout his life journey!

Welcome back Mel!! Hope to connect this weekend-know you got a busy one lined up!

Heather Elliott @ the desire to run said...

What a great story to read. It's so reassuring to know that someone as accomplished as you still has struggles and is too hard on yourself. Thank you for the reminder that you don't have to be the fastest or the best.

I had a self doubting moment at my race on Saturday. I found myself thinking about how I will never place after finding out I was a full ten minutes slower than those that did.

You post reminds me how far I have come and not to be so hard on myself.

Shellyrm ~ just a country runner said...

You do it all! World travling, minialist running mom who not only pushes a jogging stroller but one carrying a bike too!

Marlene said...

Oh YAY LS #1! With his Mom's determination, I know he'll get the hang of it in no time!

Too cool that you are trying out the Vibrams too - I am starting to feel out of the loop!

DaphneB said...

Yikes, I am the exact same way and I really have to try hard to keep it in check when my kiddos are around to witness. Their presence kind of forces me to suck it up and just do it lol.

Lisa said...

I haven't been on a bike since I was in middle school! I'm nervous to get back on one, but once we move out of the city I'm getting a bike and re-learning.

I hope your little guy gives it another try!

Janice {Run Far} said...

Not sure why, but I have always been afraid of the bike. This is why I haven't attempted a real triathlon. It drives my hubby crazy because he LOVES riding his bike.

Erika said...

My oldest monkey is exactly the same way!! (I think he gets it from me as well!)
Love your new kicks!

RunningFromCancer said...

When you think about it - biking is really quite a challenge. There are so many things going on at the same time. Big - HUGE - balancing issues, steering which is tied into balancing and all the while . . . pedaling. Kicking a ball - throwing a ball - hitting a ball - running . . . all these activities are done while standing you your two feet - but not a bike - you are balancing on a tire that is at most 2 - 3 inches wide.

He will figure it out and when he does . . . he does !

Have fun with the boys.

Holley @ Lunges and Lashes said...

i think those that are not "naturally inclined" to something are sometimes the people who end up the BEST at it! because they fight and fight and keep on trying! they put in so much hard work it always shows in the end!

Natalia Lynn said...

I totally understand!! I am the same exact way and totally see it in my older son. It makes me ache for him, I want to tell him to keep trying and not give up. At least we have experience at it, know what it's like! Oh and I am 6' tall too! And have two boys. And they are HUGE. (husband is 6'7") sounds like we might be kinda similar!

Nicole Orriƫns said...

We're going to leave the city and move to the country. That's something I'm not confident about trying, but I'm going to do it anyway!

There's nothing to fear but fear itself, after all!


Carlee said...

I can totally relate you your son. Often I give up to the I can'ts, but when I step away for a bit, I realize I'd much rather find out if I really can't or if I'm just scared. Often right after a meltdown is when I actually give it a real shot (and often succeed).

track coach and adorable wife said...

I am a lot like you, normally athletic and therefore comfortable feeling confident with most sports but too afraid to be bad at something, so I don't try new things or try hard at things I am not instantly good at. Swimming is one for me. I love the water, but hate putting my face in the water so I just swim how it feels safest instead of trying to improve because I don't want to try and fail! Which I know deep down is in itself a FAIL!