Race Envy is a Real thing...I have felt it a few times in my life and it hit hard on Saturday morning..
Knowing that Katie A. HERE was racing to a huge Marathon PR in Eugene, along with Kim HERE speeding in the Half and Stacie HERE running with her Husband for their first Half Marathon together.. ENVY!!! Yes I know I just race the Boston Marathon 2 weeks ago, but it really did not feel like I was racing since I STRUGGLED... I want so badly to connect with my SPEED and put together a perfect PR performance, I have not felt that feeling since last year in Eugene.. WAH!! WAH!! I know I am a huge Whiner...BUT!!!
I believe that Envy is a useless emotion.
What good does it do me to want for what others have?
Envy makes you bitter.
Envy makes you complacent.
Envy breeds self doubt.
Envy is anything but action.
So what did I do? I took the Envy and changed it to Inspiration.
I was tired, had been in the car most the day and am still fighting a cold....but I knew so many others had run this weekend. Jess HERE and Harmony HERE ran killer Half Marathon training runs in prep for Windermere Marathon on May 14th. Chelsea HERE ran 10.5 miles, her longest distance ever. Zoe HERE nearly got a new 5K PR.
INSPIRED!! I set out for a Fast 10 miles. I wanted to get sub 8's, to see if I am in Half PR shape. I set out STRONG.. It was a BEAUTIFUL day so warm. I wore a tank top.
- ANNOYANCES ON THE RUN
I have a sizable gut, need ab work stat
Bugs flying in my eyes and mouth
Weird Pain in my left should blade
Blister forming on right arch
Lots of people blocking the whole path
Could no breathe through my nose
A Runner who refused to wave or acknowledge me
Bikers trying to take me out
I started FAST and it felt great, I was not sure if I could keep the pace but I didn't care. Suddenly there was a sharp pain in my left shoulder blade, OUCH OUCH OUCH!! I kept running hoping it would pass and it did. Read Annoyances above...I was working through some things in my mind..
- THOUGHTS ON THE RUN
Why am I so mad about my Boston Finish time?
I should register for a Half this weekend?
I need to race
Races cost so much $$$
I cant race I am sick and my body is recovering from Boston
Why am I slowing down, come on Mel, Speed up!!
Why cant I just focus on family and not have this obsession with Racing?
Tall Mom the competitive athlete is clearly having a fight with Tall Mom the Mom :) It is a struggle daily of where to put my effort and my thoughts. At times when I try to balance it all I end up short on more than one account. But I don't plan on Giving up. I believe that I can find a balance and work toward my goals without sacrificing my family.
What is next? You will have to stay tuned to find out.. But I am happy to report that I ran 10 miles at 8:15 pace, INSPIRED by all my amazing Running buddies. Speaking of Inspired, I combined the Forrest Gump photo with a quote and posted on Dean Karnazes Facebook page..
Running across the country?? There has to be a screw loose in Dean's head, I don't Envy him AT ALL!! I bet everything hurts right now, but he is getting so close. GO DEAN!!
- THE MESSAGE: Envy can take over your mind and soul. You can Envy someone for their looks, speed, accomplishments, and on and on.. but at the end of the day Envy will not get you moving. Trade Envy for Inspiration, and who knows where your feet will take you??