6'0 Tall wife to Muscle Man, mother of 3, full time career woman, with an addiction to running wherever her size 10's will take her.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Decisions Decisions

I have been struggling with a DECISION.. I think many Mom Runners may have the same struggle when it comes to Marathon training..

Time with Family vs. Marathon!!!

And for me the Marathon up next is Boston... When my Dad died I took a long look at my life, my priorities and how I spend my time. When I missed registering for Boston because we were planning his funeral arrangements I took it as a sign.. And my back and forth began..

HERE IS HOW IT WENT:

-You did not get into Boston, that is a sign that it is best you don't do it this year.

-Jill got you an entry, that is a sign you should do it.

-Las Vegas Marathon was tough, maybe you need a break.

-Boston is something to look forward to and Dad would not want you to quit.

-Muscle Man wants to train for a Half Marathon, you should focus on helping him train and time with family.

-You can run Boston for those who may never be able to and tell the story so they can be there with you.

-It is too much pressure, too much time, too much money, I am not sure that I have it in me right now.

-But what if you never qualify again? This is the time to do it for YOU.

-Boston Entry came, that is a sign.

-Invitational Entry is $250!!! Why is it twice the price, UGH!!

-Bethany and Ryan at "Our Love on the Run"
HERE have offered to host so you are already saving $$$. It would just be the flight, entry fee and some spending money..

-Email to friends asking their thoughts, 50/50 reply, but the overall consensus is "go with your heart/gut."

-My heart is still a little tender and my gut is out of shape... DECISION making ability is not a strength right now.

-Ask Mom.. Mom thinks I should do it. I told her I felt guilty like my running had taken away time with Dad... She reminded me that they were off traveling the country enjoying their hobbies..

-Ask Muscle Man...
Ultimately I realized that I wanted his approval, for my partner in life to tell me that it is OK for me to spend the time, money and effort reaching for a dream.. And he DID!!

  • Moral of the story?? As a Mom and Runner having the love and support from your partner is the first step in fully committing to Marathon training. I am BLESSED to have a husband who cooks "CARBO LOADING" meals on Friday nights, accepts that I wont be there on Saturday mornings and will massage my tired legs on a lazy Sunday. Does it take away time and money from the family? Yes... But I believe that through my passion I am giving back so much more..
Off to fill out the entry form and send $250 (OUCH) if I could only get a sponsor!! Here is to hoping I get in, and if not... I guess I have my answer.

  • What Decisions do you struggle with?
  • How do you ultimately come to a conclusion?

HAPPY TUESDAY!!

35 comments:

Twila said...

I want to 2 marathons a year but the amount of time the training takes is a lot but in the long run I know I am setting a good example for my son. I make the most of the time I am with him and keep my week runs to night time when he is asleep.

I am so glad you are doing Boston! I would give my right arm to qualify for Boston!

Velma said...

It sounds like you made a good decision. **HUGS**

Michelle said...

Decisions that my husband and I struggle with - whether or not to start a family. We both want a child but both feel we are too selfish right now. We go back and forth so we've decided that as long as we continue to go back and forth, the clear answer is NO. Having a kid is not something we should be going back and forth about!

Morgan said...

I can only imagine what a hard time you had making this decision with what an emotional roller coaster you've been on lately and the cost... Yikes!!! But you earned it so it's worth it and you know your Dad wanted you to be there too! I will see you there! Save the date for the Bloggy Brunch Meet-up after the BAA 5k on Sunday!!!

Stacey said...

I guess I have always been a little selfish with my running. I have done a lot of my training on a treadmill in my basement with my kids playing/watching a movie etc.So I guess in my mind that justifies the hours "away" I have a supportive husband as well. It is just our way of life now, it has been like this since my son was little. (he is nearly 10)

I am so jealous that you will be doing Boston. Just enjoy the adventure with no worries..YOu are amazing!

Shannon (IronTexasMommy) said...

I face and continue to face the same struggles. IM fees were $650. You will make your family proud with your accomplishments. Sometimes opportunities only come around once in a life and while you may continue to qualify for Boston, you can dedicate this one to your dad, who will be there with you every step of the way.

Jess @ Blonde Ponytail said...

I really don't know how you MOMMY RUNNERS do it all. To balance all of the important facets of your life, not neglecting one over the other has be a constant stressor.

You have found a tremendous life partner in Muscle Man!!

Good luck with your decision Mel! Cheering for you either way!!

Jess @ Blonde Ponytail said...

**oops I misread! You have made your decision!! AWESOME!!!

(Just) Trying is for Little Girls said...

What a thoughtful post. You have more support than so many others. I think your Boston experience is going to be worth every penny. Thanks for sharing it with us!

And your gut can't be that out of shape...Ms. 4th place!

Caroline said...

good for you dear...and clearly you are with the right man for you..isnt this fantastic?!
decisions that are hard for me to make is when it is ok to go back home (Canada) to visit friends and family. In 10 yrs I have never been back alone because I have always chosen my family's needs over my need to be back home for a few days..not always easy...

marathonmaiden said...

you are one tough momma. i'm happy with your decision because that means i get to meet you correct? :)

Rose said...

My husband definitely struggles with my running (and, in the past, my triathlons). He works long hours away from home, so when I'm in the height of training I'm going to bed within an hour or two of him getting home. And long runs on the weekend usually ruin my body for the whole day, plus I don't like to stay out late the night before.

So, we've talked about it, and I did my best to juggle things around for the last marathon. I have an ultra coming up in 2011, but it's a time ultra, not a distance ultra, so I'm just going to not train for it, and focus on running a faster 5k, which means short HARD runs instead of long slow runs. We'll see how it goes.

It doesn't help that the husband does ZERO exercise. Running is his least favorite thing to do, so I can't really drag him out with me.

Michelle said...

Clearly a tough decision - there's nothing better than having your partner in your corner! Good luck with your Boston training - you earned it so enjoy the experience!

Amanda@runninghood said...

Such a hard decision. I think this is an opportunity you can't miss out on and one that will not be regretted. You'll have this story to tell forever and your family will be there to support you and be inspired by you. My husband just told me he will be there to support me to run another marathon in June since I was injured and unable to do my October Portland Marathon. So much time away from the family on weekends and evenings...it is hard but you will find a way to give that extra attention to your kids and your husband when you're not running. Your running will be your "filler up"...you can use your running time to be your devotion time, self time, reflective time, etc...multitask with it and then when you are home with your family, you will just put the mommy hat on and be extraordinary at that too. Good luck! So happy with your decision...it will be exciting to watch.

Kate said...

Oh, I struggle with this so much, too. The time, the money, the time. And, like Rose, my husband isn't a runner and doesn't really GET the importance of it all to me. He is tolerant of the activity, which is a little different than being encouraging. It's hard.

While I can't get him involved in the running aspect, I have managed to involve our kids, which gives him a little time to himself. I'm hoping to combine some races with some camping trips, that way getting in family time, too. And I'm hopeful that he'll embrace a roll as race photographer as well. Maybe if he feels like he has a spot on the "team" he'll enjoy it more. I hope.

Jamie said...

I think you made a good decision! Having someone in your life that supports you is super important! My boyfriend is still unsure about all of my running, so I figure I need to show him that I love it through my training. Good luck on gettin in!

Cynthia O'H said...

Once you make your decision and you stop thinking about it, then you know you've made the right one.
For the record, I have qualified for Boston - a few times. I've never gone to run, though, as the time was never quite right for me. Years later, I don't regret it. And, I'll run a marathon again this year, plan to qualify and will likely go; if I decide not to, things still move forward.

Shellyrm ~ just a country runner said...

I am glad you found your way to the decision! You are blessed with great support.


Good luck getting in to Boston.

Katy said...

I just signed up for Portland. I also went back and forth and back and forth. But after talking to the hubby, decided to do it. I need to do something for me and yes, running is time consuming but it is healthy and will make me a better person and mom. My kids are young. In a few years there will be more and more shuttling to and from their activities. I didn't want to put off a marathon for 18 years...so 2011 it is! Training will compete with my soon to be 3 year old and soon to be twin one year olds, but we will manage to be a family even if we are busier than most!

kimert said...

I think you made a great decision and I wish you all the best!!!!

I finally decided to get serious about training to run a half marathon. I have yet to register for one but have began training, not feeling any guilt so far. THen Friday my 7 year old said, "Please do not go run or go to the gym tonight mom. You go every night and I just want you home." So, now I am once again struggling with whether or not to keep going with the training schedule I have for a half.

HEATHER @ runfastermommy! said...

awww Mel, I know EXACTLY how you are feeling right now. I have had the most amazing opportunity come my way with Team Trakkers, and it's just SCREAMING at me to DO the full Rev3 tri (140.6). I mean, it's the most PERFECT opportunity, but I already feel so guilty of the time I'm going to take away from my family. It's a mom instinct to feel this way, no doubt about it. But at the end of the day, I know that my boys (all 3 of them!) want me to be happy and they will be happy seeing me chase down and acheive my dreams. I know your boys, and your Dad, would feel the same way!! *hugs* Merry Christmas Mel!

Deb said...

As mothers we tend to feel so much guilt, but everyone needs a hobby. Everyone also needs exercise, and you are able to combine both of them together. Ultimately, it makes you a better, more balanced person. It's great that you have a supportive partner.

S Club Mama said...

I can't wait to hear all about this training and process. I am one of those who will never run in Boston. Right now I struggle with whether to even attempt a full marathon - my knee hurts running anything over 8 miles but I'd like to run a whole one, you know? I don't know but I'm not in any hurry! :D

Wifey said...

The training time was definitely a big concern for me, too, as it does take a lot away from my family. Fortunately, I'm also lucky that my husband and kids support me!

So glad you've come to an answer that will hopefully bring you joy!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

LauraElaine said...

It is always a struggle, but it sounds like you made the right choice for you. You are setting an amazing example to your boys of hard work, dedication, commitment, a healthy lifestyle...the list goes on and on. And I think your Dad would be proud of the decision you made. :)

Marlene said...

I could really see that you were having a hard time with this one... glad you were able to work through it with support from your super hubs. :)

Angie Bee said...

This is a lovely post Mel :)
I am so happy that you have someone to go the distance with you in this life. Its a very special thing and I love that you know it.

Good girl for being so wise even if sometimes you don't see it or believe it. It comes through in your blog none the less.

Lisa said...

I'm sure it will all work out how it is supposed to. If you get in, it was meant to be. If not, your time will come another year. It's great that you have such a wonderful husband to support you. I can tell that you two have a special bond and weren't meant to find each other!

Alma said...

I'm glad you're going to try for BOston. You know, even if you weren't training for B, it's still a commitment to keep up the running so you may as well train for the best race of all! It's tough to balance it all but remember that you can make your time about quality, not quantity.

longlegsontheloose.com said...

I think it just says what a wonderful person you are that you were considering giving up your dream for the sake of others. But I think you've made the right choice. You've earned this Mel! And you deserve it! every second of it! You are so good to your family and friends and I know your dad will bet there with you every second!

5 Miles 2 Empty said...

Sorry I am of the 50% that didn't respond to your email... =(

I guess I didn't respond because it is tough. Too tough and ultimately only YOU and your FAM can make that decision.

You have reevaluated your priorities and I hope that you can trust your decision. Stick with the WHY and you will be golden! This marathon is far more than a marathon. It is a life changing, self-shaping experience. It is a life event and these are what shape us, make us who we are. No matter what choice you would have made you would have come out on top, you would have learned something and you would have taken that and faced the future. I know that about you, Mel. You take lemons and make lemonade. Your glass is half full. You see the diamond in the rough. You can't help but take life's curve balls and knock them out of the ball park! It is who you are! It is what you do!!!!

So, here's to BOSTON my friend! A choice well thought out and well made! Don't look back! Do it for YOU! Do it for your DAD! Do it for your children!!! They are watching and they are learning and they will run a marathon with YOU one day!! What a gift to them!!!! A happy, healthy, physically fit mom!!! And do it for Muscle Man who is so proud of YOU!!!! And maybe, just maybe Boston could be a get away for you and Muscle Man (sans kiddos!)

HUGS Mel!!!!!

Kerrie T. said...

I think you gave it a lot of consideration and that's all you can do. I hope you get in. But if you don't, that's OK, too!

I struggled with the entry fee for Seattle Rock N Roll. But when I got a bonus at work, I took it as a sign. Yay! Will be entering this weekend!

Lesley @ racingitoff.com said...

This all made me teary. Love it. I know you are going to have an amazing time at Boston.

I struggle with the time for training as well, but I think I'd regret not doing it even more.

Leah @ Chasing Atalanta said...

I'm glad you have the support that allowed you to make the decision to go. I ran Boston this year for the first time and it was a great experience. I was coming off an injury and not prepared to race it hard, so my friend and I ran it together and had a blast. Also, I read today that the BAA is expected to announce in January changes in the qualification/registration process so who knows what the future holds:

http://www.examiner.com/running-fitness-in-boston/boston-marathon-to-change-qualifying-registration-process

Jill said...

Hi Mel...
As you know, I went to Boston this year the most under-trained I've ever been in my life due to a slew of reasons for which I just couldn't train well for. You know the outcome...Katie and I just ran it together and we had fun. But in all honesty, I didn't enjoy it as much as I did when I ran it VERY well the year before, it just didn't seem as rewarding. But it was still fun and I got to enjoy seeing a bunch of people from blog land. So my advice is just to do what you feel is right and one that you can live well with when you cross the finish line. I still beat myself up sometimes for not having had the sense to pull out of Boston this year so just be at peace no matter what!! :)

Happy New Year to you, girl! Hope 2011 brings you lots of happy, healthy miles!